Reconciling Judaism and the Zodiac

Oftentimes when I tell people I am interested in the Zodiac I am greeted with a great deal of skepticism and disbelief. In particular, this past week  I had two male friends tell me that I place too much value on "following the stars" instead of taking people at face value. It is true that I do tend to analyze people based on their sign. I try not to be too judgemental since someone's sun sign does not encompass the entirety of that person, but at times I will admit I can be somewhat judgy or even preachy of other people based on their signs.

For me an interest in Astrology is rather a new thing. I remember growing up reading magazines like Seventeen or Cosmo and peeking through the Astrology section in the back just for a quick laugh. In Psychology class when our teacher brought up Astrology as a faux science that many people were mistakenly guided by, I whole heartedly agreed. So what changed?

I am still a very practical person and always will be. However when I began to embrace my spirituality and religion, I realized that the "junk science" of Astrology actually has a very real place in Judaism. It is mentioned several times in Torah (both the oral and written version) and plays a huge role in Kabbalah, the sacred mystical teachings of Judaism.

Needless to say our forefathers did not think Astrology was a junk science. Rabbis like the Rambam, Vilna of Gaon, the Rashba, the Ravid, and many others not only believed in the power and truth of Astrology but they actually wrote about it and spread their knowledge of it to their students to be passed on generationally. It is my opinion that Judaism and Astrology are not two divergent ways of thinking, I believe the two can be reconciled and complement each other in many ways. Historically speaking the Jews have studied the stars and practiced astrology since the time of Abraham and even Adam has been linked to it.

I am not sure where or when the shift in Judaism occured that made Astrology into something that was against Torah. I am sad that most of the resistance from Astrology comes from those who base their entire lives around following a set of religious rules and principles that can't be proven scientifically. Its always been interesting to me that the more religious someone is the more likely they are to reject the teachings of the Zodiac. They usually view it as a sham or as new-age mysticism. Yet the same people who don't believe in the Zodiac, govern their entire lives on the literal interpretation of a book that is thousands of years old. A book that outlines how they worship, eat, treat others, even how they can have sex. A book that actually mentions Astrology and the importance of it, both negative and positive aspects.

To be fair the Torah does speak out against the practice of Astrology in terms of reading the future. This is because as Jews our futures are not controlled by the stars. We are in essence free to choose our paths in life. Meaning that just because I was born on a certain date does not mean I will reach wealth, love or anything else, as Jews we make our own destiny. How do we do this? By bringing ourselves closer to g-d we are able to control our fate and destiny. How do we do this? Well by following the torah and completing mitzvot. By doing good things not only will we become better people inside but we will be rewarded in our next lives.

So what about those Jewish people that are awful and horrible? Judaism contends that those who are doing teshuvah or repenting stand very high in g-ds favor. So even if you have spent your life doing awful and horrible things if you come to g-d and do teshuvah you can change your fate.It is like my favorite lecturer Lori Palatnik said, the Jewish year is not a circle rather it is a spiral. Meaning that sometimes we go up but other times we go down. The point is to keep trying to go up and reach your true potential. By doing this you will be closer to g-d and in essence you yourself will be a more g-dly, spiritual, and better human being.

 When g-d gave us the torah we made a pact with him, that we would be different then any other nation. This means that our destinies are not guided by the stars like other nations but rather that we are guided by g-d only whose influence far outwieghs the heavenly bodies.

So how does the Zodiac fit in to all of this? Well to me the Zodiac tells me about the needs, desires, likes and dislikes of people. It paints a quick sketch of them in your mind so that you are prepared and alter your reaction to them. Now this may seem as an unfair statement. Afterall it is not fair to judge others and as I was reminded this week what can result is a confirmation bias. Meaning that if you're looking for something you will find it in some form, thus confirming your suspicions. To this I counter that I take into account the person first before I am even aware of their Zodiac sign. Afterall I am not going up to random people on the street and asking their birthdays it is only with people that I know well who I ask. Even then I excercise caution as to prevent judging someone too harshly for something they can not control or for something that may not play a huge role in their life. As I mentioned in my first entry Astrology is fairly new to me and I am still learning about it all the time. I also realize that there is much more to Astrology then sun signs and there is much more to a person then their Astrological sign. However, there is a lot  more to Astrology then  a casual observer would see and the more I learn about it from reading books on Kabbalah or listening to various lecturers the more fascinated I become with it.

I think that for many the study of the Zodiac can be a scary thing. Afterall if g-d gave us free will, then why or how can the planets or spiritual bodies affect us? Right now I am still learning about it but with this entry I have tried to share what I have learned thus far. More on this later.....and hopefully a new blog on Sagitarius.

Happy Chanukkah!!

Scorpio: Busting the myth of the sex fiend

One of the things that really pisses me off about modern astrology is that the negative qualities of some signs are often interpreted in positive ways. There is no better example to me then the case of Scorpio. Chances are, any magazine or book you pick up about modern astrology will describe Scorpios as being obsessed with sex.  You would think your average Scorpio spends the majority of their day alternating between prostituting themselves and being a sex fiend. However nothing could be further from the truth. I'm here to bust a very common belief, Scorpios are not sex g-ds. If anything, most Scorpios are prudish often to the point of celibacy.

First let me say this, Scorpios are extremely picky about their lovers. They have very little interest in sleeping around with multiple people and their emotions run way too deep for casual lovers. Not only are they generally not interested in casual sex but for the most part Scorpios are not particularly exciting or innovative in bed. They are rarely into experimenting and trying new positions and they are pretty conservative and bland in their sexual preferences. Sure, some Scorpios may have their kinks but for the most part this sign is much, much tamer then most people suspect.


Also on a personal note, most Scorpio men that I have met often come across as extremely effeminate and very awkward with women. They by no means have a "fatal allure" or sexual nature that most people claim is natural for Scorpio men. If anything for the most part when I meet Scorpio men I almost always peg them as a gentle Pisces or a Sag. As for Scorpio women, they give off such an intense vibe that it can be confusing to decide whether they are sexual in nature or something darker. Keep in mind that since Scorpio is a feminine sign, female Scorpios are usually much more intense then male Scorpios.

So where does all the fuss about them being obsessed with sex come from?  In my personal opinion this misconception arises out of Scorpios absolute obsession with their partners. Most Scorpios are very intense and focused people. This is great trait to have in the work world, but not such a good one for building a relationship. Once they feel they can trust you and if they fall in love with you, they will want to control you. Point blank, Scorpios want to own you, mind, body and soul. They are not content with merely dating you in a casual manner like an Air sign would. Rather Scorpios want your world to revolve around them. Scorpios are extremely loyal and expect similar loyalty from you, whether it be in a friendship or relationship. And don't even think of cheating or otherwise betraying this sign. They are completely ruthless when they feel they have been wounded or hurt. They are extremely jealous and very senesitive people. Even a  bit of light flirtation with a member of the opposite sex will upset them to the point were they feel betrayed and used.

Scorpios can be very intense and passionate in bed which is likely were the concept of them being obsessed with sex comes from. And once they feel they can trust you they will open up and be very passionate with you. They are usually generous lovers, although as I mentioned before they are not as experimental as other signs. They are not usually very selfish in bed, and once they trust you they will be very forthright about their sexual wants and desires. They will resist trying things that are outside their comfort zone or that they feel are morally wrong.

Scorpios have major issues with trust as well. They are usually pretty cold and quiet with outsiders and rarely if ever reveal their true feelings or intentions. Male Scorpios I have found are much more open and extroverted then their female counterparts. But for the most part Scorpio rarely opens up to outsiders or strangers (more on female Scorpios and trust in another post).

Another common misconception about Scorpios is that in bed they can be very dark. Meaning turned on by fetishes, bondage, BSDM, etc. Again this is definitely not the case. For Scorpios that do enjoy darker or more rougher sex (a rarity) their desires lie in mind control over anything tangible or visually stimulating (chains, whips, latex, etc).  For the most part this sign has major trust issues so its very rare to find a Scorpio that would enjoy being tied up, confined or humiliated in any way. This sign has a lot of pride and there is nothing more humiliating to them then losing control in the bedroom. Not to say they don't enjoy mastering others in the bedroom, but like I mentioned earlier, often a Scorpio's ethical  and controlled nature will not allow them to hurt others, especially those they truly love.

Against common belief, Scorpios have a definite sense of right and wrong and are often ruled by their morality.  Now mind you, a Scorpios morality is not neccesarily guided by society's mores and dictates but rather whatever they personally feel is right or wrong. This means that although a Scorpio may have respect for government and its processes but they have no qualms about breaking or bending laws/rules they don't believe in.

So hopefully this shed some light on a common misconception. Scorpios, feel free to comment and prove me wrong :-). I'm still looking for my tall, dark and handsome Scorpio man ....lol.

Guest Post: Reflections

This post is an essay written by little sister. Thought it was very well done and wanted to share it. Enjoy!

The phone rings and I hear my father’s deep voice answer “ Hola?”, immediately a smile grows on his face and he begins speaking Hebrew then back to English and then Spanish. As I help my mom make dinner, yucca con mojo (a root vegetable with garlic sauce popular in Latin America) with a side of hummus and tahini. As a child I thought there was nothing unique or different about my upbringing. I thought everyone’s family spoke in a mixture of languages and all Jews ate borekas and sanchocho soup with matzoh balls. Having been raised in a highly ethnically diverse area such as Miami I never thought twice about the concept of a Latin or Sephardic Jew (meaning Jews from Spain) being strange or unusual.

 I grew up attending temple in a Cuban Jewish community where I regularly heard prayers in Hebrew and in Spanish and then ate borekas (puff pastries cooked by Jews of Turkish descent). My grandparents owned stores in Latin neighborhoods and they were raised and still had family in Colombia and Cuba. My father was an Argentinean Jew whose ancestry included Poland and Russia making him an Ashkenazi Jew. The dichotomy of my father’s light features with my mom’s dark features made for a colorful mixed appearance amongst my siblings and I. Being that both my parents spoke Spanish and had been raised in South America, Spanish was my first language. I also attended Hebrew school in a Latin Jewish synagogue and eventually learned English as I entered grade school. Soon I was mainly speaking English both in and out of the house and my Hebrew lessons eventually stopped. But my father still felt the need to keep Jewish traditions alive. My house was kept kosher, temple was attended on important holidays, and Friday was reserved for festive large Shabbat dinners for friends and family where my family and I would crowd in front of the flickering flames of two candles and recite the prayers by memory.

I remember the bitterness of the wine followed by the dry and sweet challah bread, the texture of the white table cloth that covered the large oak table in the dining room. My father would recite the prayers in Hebrew and my siblings and I would parrot them as best as we could, my small fingers tracing the strangely curved letters with the random dots that could only be read from right to left. But then as times changed and my parents began working more, visits to temple were lessened. Friday night dinners which had once been reserved for festive large Shabbat dinners were now abandoned and we were lucky if the Shabbat candles were even lit, as the lights now mostly came from the television sets. I was now attending school with more American children, specifically with many American Jews. I remember the stiffness and staidness of their Shabbat dinners, where both the conversations and the food was bland. I missed the colorful and loud family get-togethers with three languages being spoken at one table and the warmness of the Latin and Mediterranean cultures swirled together. Even the way the Ashkenazi’s read their prayers and the food they ate was boring to me.  

I remember my friend’s disbelief or disapproval of Sephardic or Latin Jews. I remember one commenting “those aren’t real Jews”.  Or worse “You don’t look Jewish?”.  I was always puzzled at this statement because in both my family and lifetime I have seen Jews from all over the world, with dark chocolate eyes to light grey, strong noses and button noses, curly hair and pin straight hair, black and white, tall and petite. I didn’t think that Jews had any certain “look”, I thought that they just looked like whatever region they were from , Ashkenazi’s looked like any other eastern European , and Sephardic Jews looked like any other person from the Mediterranean. The ignorance and perpetuation of stereotypes reinforced by most of the population even within the Jewish community always bothered me.

As I grew older I had lost many of my childhood traditions. I hadn’t gone to temple in years; I still kept Kosher to some degree but mainly as a result of me being a vegetarian, and had forgotten all but several prayers. Perhaps it is no coincidence that during this time I was undergoing many emotionally difficult times. I was in middle school and my parents, now divorced, were constantly working. I often had to make dinner for my brothers and always felt too busy to light the candles or follow any other traditions. I also began to question my beliefs and faith in the world around me.  My first boyfriend was raised in a very religious Orthodox home, and when I asked to meet his family he resisted, basically suggesting that I wasn’t “Jewish enough”. 

I then dated a Catholic boy whose religious hang-ups I could not understand.  His house was covered in crucifixes and pictures of a bloody Jesus on the cross.  These images were very graphic and different to me coming from my own household where mezuzas (small scrolls of the torah, attached to doorways) and deep blue glass eyes were hung to protect from the evil eye. His family would ask me questions about Judaism and even though we had similar origins (his family and my grandma were both from Colombia) I felt a strong disconnect from him culturally. I felt annoyed when he would forget important holidays especially since I took the time to celebrate his holidays with him, and the small cultural subtleties were always lost.

It was around this time that I had reclaimed many of my childhood traditions.I made it a point to practice Shabbat and kiss the mezuza as I entered and exited a room, I prayed and explored more of my religion. My sister was also undergoing a religious transformation. She had just returned from living in Israel and came back spiritually replenished and forever changed. She began to spend most of her time in the campus temple at her college, began eating kosher and became friendly with the rabbi and his family. When she would visit my house she would implore that my siblings and I also become more religious and spiritually involved. She lent us books on Jewish Spiritualism and mysticism, and introduced me to lectures given by rabbis that spoke about modern issues. She began to travel more and meet other Jews from all over the world and when she spoke about Israel she seemed to glow. “You don’t understand Steph, I feel at home there. Everyone understands you” she would tell me. She would beg me to get more involved in the Jewish community and thought that it would help me deal with my mixed up emotions.

 My most recent ex-boyfriend was raised mainly Christian, his father was Jewish but was raised in a mostly Christian/Catholic neighborhood in rural Pennsylvania. His mother was Catholic, and in the Jewish religion the child takes the faith of the mother. While his father’s side was technically Jewish, they had spent multiple generations in this Christian community and had completely assimilated into the culture and practices of that region. He ate pork and other non kosher foods, had never been to temple, had no cultural or biblical knowledge of the Jewish religion and had never dated a Jewish girl. In the eyes of the Jewish community he was not a Jew, not by birth nor in practice. Yet he would claim that he was Jewish even when I would explain to him that in the Jewish religion, he was not. He had no respect for the laws of kashrut or Jewish holidays and his ignorance about the culture began to wear on me. When I went to his hometown to meet his families I was greeted with a plate of pork sliders, I quickly passed and began to look for something that I could actually eat. I was then approached by a family member who began to ask me questions about myself, where I had met my then boyfriend, and where I was from. When I mentioned that I was a Latin Jew, an exaggerated contorted look grew on his face and he bluntly replied “I didn’t know they made those” then rudely laughed. “Well I guess I’m a special edition from the factory” I replied curtly before ending the conversation.  I didn’t even have the energy to explain to him that Judaism is a religion with cultural practices but that pockets of Jews live in countries around the world, that we didn’t magically pop up and live on “Jew-island”. I wanted to tell him that Jews exist in multiple parts of the world, and that not every Jew resembles the stereotypical Woody Allen character.

More recently I was able to experience the beauty of my cultural heritage during the wedding of my cousin. Him being a Colombian/ Cuban Jew, he had met and fallen in love with a Cuban-Turkish Jew with a lovely large family and they decided to get married. At the wedding Spanish music played and we danced the Hora. All of the Abuelas (grandmothers) were dressed to the nines and kisses were  freely exchanged. It felt so good to be in a room full of people just like me, were I was not considered an oddity or a freak. It was that night that reinforced my desire to marry someone from the same culture as myself. Today I continue to practice and delve more into my religion on a spiritual level. I don’t consider myself to be very religious, but I do try to apply the spiritual and common practices of Judaism to my everyday life. I hope to marry someone who understands my disdain of pork products and my love of Carlos Vives, someone who’s Abuela makes delicious borekas , and lastly someone who loves me. They will be my besheret ( soulmate in Hebrew) and what better place to meet him, then in Miami?

Gemini Male: Heartbreaker you got the best of me

Gemini males. Where should I begin? There is a lot to be said about Gemini males, some good but mostly bad (especially if you're not an Air sign). Geminis are unlike any other male sign in the Zodiac, although Aquarian males may have some similarities, nothing comes close to a Gemini male.

First of all let me just say that Gemini men are extremely charming. When you first meet one, chances are you will be extremely impressed by his wit, suave personality and his ability to keep up a conversation without any awkward lulls or silences. Geminis know how to treat a lady (in the beginning at least), they will do everything but lay out a red carpet for you to walk on. They are extremely romantic in the beginning of a relationship and will charm the pants off not only you but your family, friends, co-workers, pets, etc.

But not all good things can last. So is the case with Gemini men. Geminis in general are not a relationship type of sign. This is not to say that they don't enjoy dating, because Gems love meeting (or sleeping) with lots of different types of people. What gets Gems is boredom. Once this sign gets to know you and you start wanting a ring is the minute you realize he has his bag packed or is out the front door.

Ladies ( and some gentlemen) trust me when I say this, be careful with Geminis. This is a sign that is extremely changeable and untrustworthy. They only adore the chase, but not the relationship that comes afterwards. Once they meet a woman they are interested in they will pursue her until she falls for them, and once that happens they are done.They really do well with only Air signs. When they're with other signs they tend to feel constricted and chained down. 

When a Gemini does get into a relationship this changeability can be a good thing. Gemini men are extremely creative and changeable in bed. They enjoy toys and props in bed and love spicing things up in bed. They like to try crazy positions, sex toys and role playing. The kinkier the better with this sign. They are turned on by the visual as well as the auditory.  Gems are definitely not quiet lovers. As I mentioned in my last post, this sign loves to talk. And in bed they're no different. This sign for the most part prefers to dominate in bed, they are not scared or too timid to instruct you in what they want and many will not hesitate to give orders. They know what they like and what they want to see. They get extremely turned on by dirty talk and verbalizing your fantasies. They enjoy things like role playing different scenarios with you, and are also very turned on by the idea of a menage a trois (usually with another female).

Yet despite the tendency to dominate in the bedroom, Geminis are also extremely sensual and very much into pleasing women. This may come as a surprise to many since this sign is not known in Astrology as being overtly sexual or as a good lover. Most people consider the "twins" to be light, flirtatious, and somewhat prudish. But from what I have heard and experienced they usually make sure that their woman leaves satisfied. Some women with Gemini lovers have described it to me as Gemini putting on a performance for them. Gemini men want their lovers to be satisfied in bed, however, the rest of the relationship is a different story.

So here's the tragic part of the romance with a Gemini. You may think everything is going well and things are finally starting to get serious. When all of a sudden he's no longer answering your phone calls, returning your emails, and your bank account is drained. What happened you may wonder? Turns out you probably fell in love with one side of his personality, but when that "other" side of their personality comes out its like your romance was make believe. You no longer mean anything to them. Its like your relationship or romance never existed. It's the fatal allure of the Gemini.

Once a Gemini disappears good luck trying to find him. Its almost like an evil twin has abducted him because they turn into a different person over night. Geminis are also the type of man that will disappear just when you are starting to fall in love with him. I am afraid I can't give my readers an answer as to why this is. But most Geminis need excitement, spontaneity and newness in a relationship or else they will  leave. Once again this is why Gems need an Air sign. Who else will keep a Gemini entertained? Aquariuses are so kinky and strange which turns Gems on. Libras chattering and easy going personality makes Gems feel comfortable and unconfined. Leos are possibly one of the only signs besides Air that meshes well with Gemini. This is because Leos enjoy performing in bed and Gems love to be a participant. Not to mention Leos are very easy to please, just keep the charm coming.

Those with Gemini men know how hard it must be to keep your man interested. A word of advice, don't hesitate to spice things up and change things around every once in a while. Gems love spontaneity so don't hesitate to let your inner vixen out to play. Fair warning, this sign is not the most loyal nor the most faithful. If its ever lasting love you are looking for, search else where, because Geminis are not for you.

As always, good luck :-)

Gemini: Walking the walk and talking the talk

Have you ever met someone who loves to talk? Really talk, I mean talk until they're blue in the face and will keep going even if all suitable topics have been exhausted? Most likely you have just met a Gemini. This post will explore the talkative aspect of Gemini females and how it impacts their interactions with other signs on a romantic and personal level.

The twins

I have to preface this by saying as a Water sign I don't get along with Air signs in general. I see them as shallow, unrealistic, and non trustworthy. The love is not loss, because Air signs see Water signs as being too overly emotional, constricting, secretive,  and unnecessarily complex. I can almost guarantee that any union be it friendship or romance between an Air and Water sign will not work out for these reasons. Yes there are exceptions to every rule but trust me on this one, Air signs are meant to be with only other Air signs. That is who they will always be happiest with because other Air signs understand Gemini's need for freedom, superficiality and a busy social life.

Gemini's are truly the communicators of the Zodiac. Even a "shy" Gemini and you will come across those every once in a while will open up eventually. Now although Geminis are quite the talker you will notice that in these interactions that a Gemini seems somewhat removed. The eyes aren't quite lighting up to match the tone of voice, the smile isn't really that warm, and at times what a Gemini will ask or say can come across as shallow or even calculating. Out of all the Air signs, Geminis are the most grounded in reality, yet they still are very much like Libra and Aquarius (the other two Air signs). This means that they are somewhat removed from reality and  devoid of feeling human emotion. Now I know what some readers may be thinking at this point, "well I know several Geminis and they're not like this at all". Just remember there are two sides to every Gemini. The side you may have encountered at that moment may present itself as caring and loving but the other side may not be.

The dark and good side of Gemini

Geminis are a sign that is personified by dual personalities. Although many Geminis can be warm and loving, there will always be another side to them, more often then not that side of them is not one you want to mess with. Gemini females especially tend to exhibit their dual personalities, although they do so in an entirely different way then Gemini men. Gemini women are  known for their charm which seduces many a passerbyer. Even though they are not as charming as Gemini men can be (more on this in a later post) Gemini women can still charm the pants off anyone ( I mean this literally). Most Gemini women are warmer then Gemini men. They can talk to almost anyone and  they will make that person feel like they are their center of attention. A true Gemini is the type of person that can make friends wherever they go. But Geminis have a hard time maintaining long lasting or deep friendships and relationships with people because after a while Gemini will get bored.

The Gemini bible

Gems love to keep around many diverse groups of friends. Fair warning the minute you become boring to a Gemini or attempt to cage them in they will leave. Gems have to be entertained all the time, and they have to have an outlet in which they can talk and meet others. Geminis need to have people they can talk to at all times. Trust me when I say that a Gemini could probably hold a conversation with an inanimate object and still be content.

So my readers may be wondering at this point, so what? Big deal they like to communicate, we get it. Geminis love affair with talking is hardly new. But consider this Gemini's love of talking will impact any relationship a Gemini has. Unlike most signs Geminis aren't so interested in looks or money, although those things do matter to some Gems. What they care about is personality. If a Gemini meets someone who can make them laugh and entertain them they will stick around. However, Geminis will eventually get bored. This holds true for both male and female Geminis. And they will most likely cheat.

Not happening any time soon

This is not a loyal sign by any means. And unlike most signs they are turned on by things like charm and flirting, whereas other practical signs would see through it. To a Gemini often it is words that turn them on in the bedroom more so then physicality. Although most male Geminis are quite experimental in the bedroom for the most part the female Gemini can be quite removed emotionally and not interested in sensual lovemaking. She likes sex but she prefers the thrill of the chase more then the American dream home with a white picket fence and husband waiting for her. Like all Air signs she is thrilled with being spontaneous and adventurous. To her nothing is better then spending the night flirting surrounded by many admirers and friends.

So if this social butterfly sounds like your cup of tea then good luck. I would say based on my experience don't expect a long term relationship from a Gemini. And on a more personal note don't expect them to be honest and real with you. This sign is known for being untruthful, untrustworthy and shallow. The best matches are other Air signs and Leo ( who lets face it goes with any sign as long as they're willing to stroke Leo's ego)

My issues with female and male Geminis is this, why the shallowness? Every single Gemini I have ever met is shallow in one way or another. I'm not referring to a superficial shallowness, although a lot of Geminis are very superficial. But rather Gemini's are not deep. They are extremely flighty and  don't want to be encumbered by things like feelings or emotions. In fact to a Gemini, feelings just get in the way of things, most Geminis are ruled by the pursuit of fun times. They are not looking for people who are too emotional or clingy.

Just my two cents...feel free to share your opinion on Geminis..another post soon to come on Gemini males and lying

Aries Female: Impulse Control

 I have to admit I am very biased when it comes to writing about Aries females. Namely because I have never come across an Aries female I did not like. They are brave, bold, funny, drama free, ambitious, spontaneous, driven, loving, and passionate.  All of the things I have spent my entire life trying to be, Aries females do naturally on their own.

Unlike male Aries, Aries females are much more grounded, warm hearted and sensitive. Although they still embody the Aries “can do” spirit they do so in a very tone downed way. Aries women are the most “real” sign of the Zodiac. They are honest, blunt and most of them are ridiculously funny as a result. They have a lot of masculine energy flowing through them which makes them risk takers, aggressive go getters, and at times somewhat egotistical. But there is something Aries females just like Aries men have a problem with and that is their impulsive natures.

Awww its a baby Ram :-)

Aries is a sign ruled by their impulses. Because they are the first sign of the Zodiac, they are considered the “baby” of the Astrological world. When a baby wants something, be it food or a diaper change, how do they go about getting your attention? A baby will scream and cry until they get your attention because they are ruled solely by their impulses. All a baby thinks about is their pleasure and needs.  They do not take your feelings into account as they are screaming and crying.  And just like babies, Aries will also be passionate and scream when they want your attention even if it hurts your feelings.

As I mentioned in my last post, Aries is not a patient sign. They can certainly try to learn patience but it is not a skill that comes naturally. One Aries male described it thusly, “I am the most impatient person who feigns patience that there is”. Nothing pains an Aries more then to wait for things. Which is why when an Aries is offered something or sees something they like they will go after it with almost no thought of the consequences. Aries has a lot of energy and they need to direct their energy into some type of endeavor. They are definitely not content just watching life pass them by. 

Aries can also be very persistent, because they are ruled by impulse they will often push boundaries to go after what they want. Always remember that Aries least favorite word is no. Telling an Aries no at any point of a relationship or friendship is futile because Aries will always go after what they want regardless of your opinion. The trick with Aries is sugarcoating your resistance in such a way that they believe it was their idea in the first place. Aries is a sign that likes to win any argument no matter how small so never say no to this sign. 

Sometimes this impulsive nature is a good thing. While other signs like Taurus and Cancer will deliberate a course of action and often miss out on an opportunity, Aries will just go after what they want with no questions asked. This impulsive nature means that Aries is much more likely to do something without considering the ramifications of the behavior. Aries don't understand the concept of consequences and many have trouble dealing with moderation. They are often more liable to suffer from the consequences due to their wrong choices.

No suprise that they call it a battering ram

Many Aries women I know of have made a lot of bad choices in life because of this impulsive nature. Be it in jobs, relationships or even trivial matters like shopping. This is not to say that an Aries, be they male or female, don’t think or rationalize about a choice. But rationalization and patience are skills that must be learned over time by an Aries.  They do not come naturally and especially in stressful situations Aries will usually react without thinking.

This type of behavior can be self destructive in many ways. I have some Aries friends who have impulsive shopping, eating, drinking and drug habits. Unlike many thrifty signs (Cancer/Taurus/Virgo) Aries will buy things they like without thinking of the consequences. They are not the best savers because they will often buy things recklessly without deliberating whether they really need it or not. 

This type of reckless or irrational behavior can often lead to promiscuity. Aries females just like Aries men want to be in committed and long lasting relationships. However many of them have no problem sleeping around before a relationship. Like I mentioned in my last post, when Aries sees something that they want , they go out and get it. While other signs like Taurus or Capricorn are deliberating about your future potential, Aries has already propositioned you to come back to their home. This is very big problem for female Aries who may start a relationship with someone who is completely inappropriate for them simply because they did not think before entering into a relationship. Or it could lead to them being hurt by others who may not have the same feelings for them. 


Their impulsive nature and masculine energy means that many Aries females have no problem adapting a "love em, and leave em" approach to life. They can flit from man to man with almost no problem or guilt but their true goal in life is finding their soul mate. Yes, under all that masculine energy Aries truly wants to find a life  partner that they  respect and love. Aries women also make great moms, especially with little boys since they're not afraid to get down and dirty.

Aries women will struggle with their impulsive nature but many I know have managed over the years to tame it and learn patience. However they must still be careful of it being activated during stressful situations. The loss of control or rational thinking that an Aries experiences can be very harmful to those around them. When an Aries loses their tempers all hell will break loose. Aries has no problem cursing someone out or starting a fight with someone when they’re upset. Even if that person is someone they love and respect, Aries don’t rationalize when they’re upset and are unable to take a step back and consider that persons feelings. When upset, Aries has no filter. They will say the stupidest, rudest, inappropriate things and then will act like what they did was no big deal.

Its important that Aries women and men learn to deal with this impulsive nature and funnel their energy into other endeavors. Remember Aries, patience is a virtue.

Frum in the City: Bashert

This post is an old post I wrote last year on the Jewish concept of soul mates (bashert). It is not related to the Zodiac, but regardless, I hope you enjoy it!

You know that old pick up line, the one where the guy says to the girl,  do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Well I actually had that happen to me, love at first sight that is, not the pick up line :-).

I was thinking of the concept of love at first sight tonight. What is love at first sight and what does it mean to have experienced it and then to have lost it. Sometimes, I think that a part of me is missing. I always feel silly for saying this because I know its not a very healthy outlook on life.

 In almost every article and book I read on love, the modern feminist point of view that is espoused is  to concentrate on your own needs and wants. Hooking up, casual dating are enshrined, while the realities of marriage are rarely mentioned. It almost seems like I'm not supposed to care about finding a husband or g-d forbid even consider starting a family. What has emerged instead in most women's magazine is an ethos of  leading your life based on the principles of Ayn Rand, meaning living life solely for yourself. This has never sat well with me and I know I will never be truly happy living life for my own selfish gain.

Although I am happy being here in DC working and being a "grown up" a part of me is very alone and looking for love. Sure I've dated, and met many wonderful guys, some of whom I have had chemistry with. But there is no better moment than that moment when your soul finds its other half. And I felt it from the moment I stared at him, I knew something was different. We exchanged names and the air felt electrified between us, time literally stood still. I just forgot who I was, where I was and let my heart open. Since that moment I have realized that it is not always easy to fall in love again like that.


It takes sacrifice and selflessness. I think that vulnerable romantic part of me died when things didn't work out between us both....because I've never met anyone who has even come close to giving me those feelings again. And in almost every relationship I've been in afterwards it seems that I just can't return the love, sentimentality and affection of others.

So it got me thinking to the concept of Bashert. The concept  isn't just neccesarily a soul mate, bashert means fate. It means the g-d has placed a person (or multiple people in some cases) on earth for you to find. Your "bashert" is the soul chosen to accompany your soul on life's journey. He is not only your future spouse but your other half.

I'm sure you've all heard of the concept of Adam and Eve, how Eve was made from a rib of Adams body? Meaning they were joined at a point and then g-d made them into two seperate beings. But they were always connected spiritually by that event . A smiliar concept exists in Judaism, as we all long for our other half.

I talked this over with my best friend who is very learned and educated in Jewish law. She brought up a good point, which is, that in life we can have multiple Basherts.

We can have basherts or soulmates for different stages in our life. We all go through different stages in life and sometimes we fall in love with people that are appropriate for that stage. I met him when I was 19, still in college, naive and a hopeless romantic.

Now I'm 23, independent, focused on my career and living in a new city. Times have changed, and I don't think that the person I thought was my bashert could have kept up the pace with my life.

And yet sometimes when I'm lonely I'll still think of him and wonder the "what ifs". So I guess that despite everything you will never forget your first love.....

Cancer Females: Beyond the mother archetype

Chances are whenever you read a description about Cancer females it will read something along these lines, " loves to cook, enjoys taking care of others, warm and maternal". Although these characteristics can describe the personality traits of some Cancers, it does not encompass the entirety of a Cancer woman. Like other water signs Cancers are a bit of a mystery to outsiders. Hard on the outside and soft and vulnerable inside, like our zodiac symbol the crab.

Out of all the signs in the Zodiac, Cancer is the sole symbol of motherhood and femininity. Cancers embody the feminine mystique in many ways. Often this will be embodied in a warm or maternal nature but at times this is not always the case. Both sexes tend to gravitate to more traditionally feminine roles. Such as jobs that involve caring for others or in fields such as teaching or social services.

But lets move beyond the mother archetype. Despite the fact that many Cancer females embody these maternal characteristics, not all do, and this post will explore the Cancer female in a new and different way. Cancers are much more than mere mothers, at times we are also the vulnerable lost little girl,  at other times we are the whore, and still at other times we can be a mystery, even to ourselves. This post will delve into the Cancer female and hopefully help readers to get past the traditional way of looking at this sign.

Through both my personal experiences (as a Cancer female) and through the study of the zodiac I have tried to learn more about my sign. I am not the best example for this post, since I often act like a typical Cancer most of the time. Meaning I am close with and protective of my family and friends, conservative, shy and uninviting to outsiders, cautious, defensive, and vulnerable. When people get to know me they realize this and often tease me for being a stereotypical Cancer. However, through my research on astrology and experiences with other Cancers I have noticed that the sterotypical mother archetypical of a Cancer does not always make sense because not all Cancer females are as "motherly" or as "conservative" as many astrologers believe.

Many Cancer females are the complete opposite of motherly and instead can even can exhibit very selfish and childish behavior. At times, some Cancers can act as the "wild child" and be completely reliant on others for support, both mentally and monetarily. Cancers truly do feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, more so then any other sign, although Capricorn probably comes in a close second. In Cancers there is a naturally occurring deep rooted sense of guilt; guilt as to never being a good enough person, or at least living up to our families ideals.

In general, Cancer is not an independent sign. Or to clarify, Cancer is not a sign that wants to be independent, we want to be wives, mothers, daughters, etc. More so we want to be protected and loved. Most Cancer women want to be taken care of in order to avoid the troubles and pressures of the world. The world can seem like a big scary place to most Cancers, filled with mean, insensitive, uncaring people. By acting like little girls it allows Cancer to escape the reality of the world.

One of Lindsay Lohans
 lyrics from her album,
Confessions of a broken heart:
"And I carry the weight of
the world on my shoulders
A family in crisis that only grows older"

One famous Cancer is Lindsay Lohan, I'm sure my readers would consider her behavior and attitude towards life to be neither motherly nor responsible. Lindsay Lohan struggles with drug issues, alcohol dependencies and has had many unsavory and even homosexual relationships. Traditional interpretations of Cancer would not describe her behavior as being normal for the sign. And yet Lindsay Lohan is in many ways a very stereotypical Cancer, even though a traditional interpretation of astrology would declare Lindsay to be an exception to the rule.

So why does Lindsay Lohan, as well as many other Cancers, act like this? How does a sign that is known for being maternal and responsible develop addictions? Why do so many female Cancers act like wild children? Often the reason for this behavior can be attributed to Cancers females not having  the emotional maturity to take on the maternal role. Emotional maturity, is too taxing, draining and most Cancers are not emotionally ready for it. In order to avoid or escape what at times feels like their obligations to the world many Cancer females will act like spoiled little girls.

Often Cancer females will turn to various addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, and even men in order to escape what they view as a painful reality. By allowing themselves to become addicted to certain things Cancers can escape the pressures they face. When they're high Cancers don't feel vulnerable, no wonder that Lindsay Lohan's drug of a choice is cocaine, a substance known for enhancing and improving the mood of the user as well as giving them a g-dly feeling. Same concept with food as a moof enhancer, since having a full stomach or even just a full kitchen makes Cancer feel safer and protected.

Many Cancers often turn to our own mothers in time of need. For a sign that is known for being maternal of others we often need our mothers more then any other sign.  Think of the example of Lindsay Lohan and her own mother, a tumultuous co-dependent relationship in which Lindsay is allowed and rewarded for acting like a child. This type of negative co-dependent relationship can also carry over to a Cancer's relationship with a man as well. By allowing a man to take charge, Cancers can avoid responsibility something that many are not emotionally equipped or mature enough to deal with.

Oftentimes for Cancers coming from a broken home or the by product of a divorce or stressful situation they can act like children as well. Going back to my sister's post I want to point out this section out on co-dependent relationships, "a combination of immature thinking, dealing, and behaving that generates self-loathing. That self-loathing is acted out through self-destructive or unduly self-sacrificial behavior in adult years. To anesthetize the emotional pain, codependent adults try whatever makes them feel better -- alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling. They become addicted to relationships and will do anything to hold onto them, fearing the emotional abandonment that happened during childhood. They put aside what they want to please the other person, remaining in harmful situations far too long.In choosing a partner, they gravitate toward what is most familiar -- a dysfunctional mate".

Cancer females often have trouble leaving their mothers for this reason. In the case of weaker or non-existent mothers, Cancer women will gravitate to other dominant (or suffocating) figures. This can include men or even other stronger and more dominant women. At times this can result in Cancers entering into extremely dysfunctional relationships, with men or women. By relying on other people, or worse in some cases becoming addicted to others (which will be discussed in another post) Cancers can remove themselves from reality.

This is not to say that all Cancers will act like children, abuse drugs or alcohol or fall into dysfunctional relationships. But many Cancer females who are not emotionally mature can fall into this type of self-destructive behavior. More so than almost any sign in the Zodiac, Cancer is one the most sensitive. Not only behaviorally but also physically as well. Addiction comes naturally and most Cancers have to fight these impulses on a daily basis. Most Cancers with enough emotional maturity can control their impulsive feelings and know better then to drink or do drugs. But for those Cancers who lack emotional maturity and want to appease their childish impulses these addictions are their only way of escaping what seems like a harsh or cruel reality.

In conclusion, I want to point out that not all Cancers are like this. This post is an exploration of Cancer female beyond the mother archetype that is espoused by almost all traditional astrology. Many Cancers, including myself, veer more towards the maternal figure than the self destructive addict. Like our ruling planet the moon we go through emotional cycles. At times full and bright, we view the world as rosy and optimistic, and at other times we barely have a sliver of optimism left. Many Cancers will never engage in such self destructive behavior in their lifetime but others will. I am hoping this post will shine some light on what is considered a very touchy subject in the astrology world. My next post on Cancer females will be a discussion on addictions, impulse control and love.

Guest Post: Codependency in Relationships

"Tarde o temprano dios te muestra la verdadera cara de la persona. es lamentable pero crucial"

This is a post that was written by my sister Stephanie, although it is not related to the Zodiac it is still an interesting read about toxic relationships. This is yet another reminder why people need to pay attention to things like the Zodiac prior to entering in a relationship. Even if you don't believe in the Zodiac, you should still pay attention to a person's personality. Don't be entranced by only looks. Or worse because you're bored or lonely. Pay attention to the persons habits, mannerisms, personality, and past experiences. Have they jumped from relationship from relationship, are they needy, do they enjoy picking fights? Look out for red flags and be cautious before you enter into a relationship with anyone.
Enjoy the post!

Have you ever been in a relationship where you find yourself asking "Why is this happening again" or "ugh not this stuff again?". Or feel that you have the constant feeling of  "what now"?  Do you feel as if there is always something going wrong, always a mistake, always an apology? And hanging over everything, there is always the repetitive excuse of  "I won't do it again". It is a constant cycle that before you know it lasts years, maybe even decades taking with it your self esteem, trust, and energy.

I recently left a relationship that was like this. And I was thinking about it the other day so I went to do some research on what psychologists call "codependent relationships". While the name sounds like something weird you may have seen in your high school psychology class, it is far more common problem than you think.

I honestly can not think of anyone I know who has not been in what could be classified as a codependent relationship. As the author of this article on Web MD explains, to some extent all relationships are codependent but the problem arises when your dependency on someone else fueled by an already low self esteem and desire to please enables that person to treat you badly. An excerpt that I felt summarized this is as follows:

"It's a case of arrested development -- a combination of immature thinking, dealing, and behaving that generates self-loathing, Cannon says. "That self-loathing is acted out through self-destructive or unduly self-sacrificial behavior in adult years."To anesthetize the emotional pain, codependent adults try whatever makes them feel better -- alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling. They become addicted to relationships and will do anything to hold onto them, fearing the emotional abandonment that happened during childhood. They put aside what they want to please the other person, remaining in harmful situations far too long.
In choosing a partner, they gravitate toward what is most familiar -- a dysfunctional mate. "We all seek the relationship pattern that we're familiar with, however unhappy it might make us," Cannon explains.

Neediness is a hallmark of a codependent relationship. One person's happiness depends on having the other person right there -- right now. Not letting you hang out with friends, calling frequently to check up on you, having to be with you all the time -- these are controlling behaviors, says McKee.

"If you get close to someone else, it's very threatening to them," he explains. "They're calling you all the time when you're away: Do you still love me? Are you still there for me? It's a very unhappy way to live."
 "They are not really good at bonding. They don't know how to bond in a constructive way that has a healthy dependency between two independent people. They don't feel able to express their own feelings, express a difference in opinion, so bonding never quite works."

When I recall the things that I would hear the person in the codependent relationship say to me they always revolved around his weaknesses. For example he explained to me once that he went after girls who have had weight problems in the past  or had " low self esteem" because they weren't as "stuck up" and were easy. I should have left when I heard this, because it only got worse. He attempted to make small critiques of me in an effort to manifest some kind of insecurity in me so that I would feel unattractive and less likely to leave him.

Also another important theme in codependent relationship is abuse. Abuse takes form in many ways, in addiction such as drugs and/or alcohol, sex (sex becomes an almost currency used to barter between arguments or influence emotions), and verbal abuse. The codependent guy would often resort to outbursts and screaming matches. This was also very common in his past relationships and it was a way to "scare" his partner. He loved to fight and stupidly thought that fighting equalled passion, hence his obsession with the concept of make-up sex. I felt sorry for him because the only way he could enjoy passionate love making was by making his partner hate him through emotional abuse.

Many of the people involved in codependent relationships act like children, they NEED someone to tell them when to stop, when its enough, what to do, etc. they are incapable of understanding limits. They should know by their age what is healthy or reasonable but these words do not exist in their world, nor does the word moderation.

They live between two worlds " I fucked up" and "I'm bored". Their favorite excuse is "it's just who I am". They have written a character for themselves and are acting according to the mental script. This week I'm a rockstar who sleeps around, the next week he is the workaholic politician trying to make a difference. The energy they put into trying to get into character is ridiculous. They are the perfect example of some one trying too hard. Like a bad actor in a cheap costume, their motives are transparent and they can not even convince themselves, but before they admit that they failed they become a new character.

I apologize if this post seems long winded but I felt that its important to learn more about the relationships that we choose to be in, and understand how they affect us.

Male Taurus: Grabbing the bull by his horns

There are not many signs that truly resemble their zodiac symbol. Sure if you used your imagination you could connect a Leo to a proud preening lion. Or a Scorpio to a secretive and dangerous scorpion. But a Taurus male, no matter his body type, almost always resembles a bull to me.

Hola!

It's not really the physical build of the person but rather the mind set. Tauruses are a very slow moving, patient, and down to earth sign. Both male and female Tauruses are known for taking their time to make a decision and being very stubborn especially if they are being rushed by someone. Picture a bull in the field eating grass. Unless you're teasing it or being hostile, chances are that bull is not moving any where any time soon. That's what most Tauruses are like as well. They are placid and content in their own routines but are capable of getting quite angry and charging you if they become upset.

They should call me the
situation, check out
these abs!

This post will explore the male Taurus and how these characteristics affects his relationship potential with others. Tauruses by nature are very sensual and seductive. Ruled by the planet Venus, the Taurus finds pleasure in the finer things in life. They love good food, wine, nice clothing, sensual love making and are  ruled by their senses. Making love to a Taurus is a mind bending experience, even if you are not on the receiving end(more on that later) it will be some of the most sensual sex you've probably ever experienced.

However, despite being ruled by their senses and the pursuit of pleasure, Taurus is a cautious sign. They are extremely indecisive and slow to make a decision. Tauruses have infinite patience to sit and wait for what they want. Unlike headstrong Aries, Taurus will never rush into anything without considering all of his options first. This can result in a lot of problems for Taurus since by the time they've made a decision the person may have moved on. Tauruses eventually will commit, but not unless they are 110% sure that you are the right person for them.

The Taurus male is not slow in bed. Once he is sure of what he wants he has no problem rushing in to claim the prize. Fair warning, Tauruses are not always the most generous lover. They often prefer being on the bottom and doing "less work". One person described this to me recently as Tauruses just enjoying the show.  Because this sign is ruled by feminine Venus he appreciates a woman's body and natural sensuality and does not mind a female being on top. Taurus males do not always like being on top but their favorite position is more often then not some form of doggy ( going back to the bull metaphor). Oh and if you have any resemblance to Kim Kardashian, or at least her lower regions, consider yourself lucky, Taurus is quite an ass man and is not ashamed to admit it. Not all Tauruses are into curves but the few I have met are.

Sex with a Taurus is a very mind bending experience, but sometimes only for them. Now granted this sign will try to give his partners pleasure but they can be very selfish at times. A Taurus will focus so much on their own pleasure that they will forget about yours. For the most part they also are not very imaginative or inventive during sex. Like their fellow Earth signs, Taurus prefers positions he has already tried and enjoyed. Pushing a Taurus male into the unknown or different position will probably back fire.

Although Taurus is the most sensual of all the Earth signs he is still somewhat of a prude at heart. Taurus don't usually sleep around, since he is usually playing for keeps. He is also not interested in dating many women at the same time. Usually one is enough for a Taurus.

Taurus is also a very confusing sign to deal with. They take such a long time in making up their minds about whether they like someone or not. Often Taurus will profess to like someone but when things get too intimate for them or if they are not ready they will leave. Many people have asked me why Taurus, a sign known for stability can be so flakey sometimes. Unfortunately that will have to be saved for another post, because both male and female Tauruses suffer from being flakey. Needless to say that Tauruses flakiness comes from the difficulty of Taurus to make (or be content) in a decision. They have a hard time reaching a conclusion or decision but when they do come to one its hard to change their mind.

Often if they feel you are just not the one for them Taurus can react very childishly and push you away. Tauruses behavior in this regard can be quite selfish, as they will put themselves first in any situation. If they feel like something is not going the right way they have no problem with backing off. Once again think back to the metaphor of a bull, picture trying to feed a bull in a field. The bull is far too cautious to come right away, chances are you're going to have to be patient and slowly coax the bull to you. However any sudden movements, aggression, or out of the ordinary will have him backtracking back to where he came from. Tauruses do eventually open up after a while but only when they feel they can completely trust you.

Mmmm Kugel!

So how do you seduce a Taurus male you may be wondering? Well ladies you gotta learn how to cook. Because the way to this signs heart is through his stomach. I have one Taurus friend who when asked what he was looking for in a woman remarked, "she needs to know how to make an amazing kugel" (Kugel for my non-Jewish readers is a sweet noodle dish). The other thing Taurus males are looking for is stability. This sign is known for being stable, practical and homey. They want someone who is not going to leave them hanging (even though many have no problem doing this to others), and  who will be loyal to them. So you may have figured out already who Taurus is meant to be with, Cancer.

The two signs are truly perfect together. Taurus enjoys being pampered and Cancer's don't mind spoiling. Taurus is a taker in bed, Cancer is a giver. Taurus loves eating well prepared food, Cancer enjoys cooking and serving him. Both share many things in common, like respect for traditions, love of food, homey nature, and infinite patience.

But its not always meant to be. Cancers are extremely sensitive to rejection and don't always view a Taurus deliberating as a good sign for a potential relationship. Chances are as Taurus is busy thinking about a myriad of things, Cancers have already moved on to a new prospect ( I will discuss this more in another post).

You may need several
of these while you wait
for Taurus to make up
 his mind.

Taurus also goes well with signs like Scorpio, Virgo, Leo and Capricorn. But not many signs can handle a Taurus. Because Tauruses are so slow and methodological they will clash with headstrong Aries and are too traditional for free thinkers like Aquarius.

Despite the flaws Tauruses make great friends and lovers. They are kind, patient and thoughtful of others. And are very generous with those they love. So remember try to exercise patience with this sign. Don't always trust your natural instincts. Sometimes what you think of as rejection is really only a Taurus seriously taking his time to consider you as his mate.

As always, good luck!

Virgo Females : The quest for perfection

Mirror, Mirror who is
the fairest of them all?

Virgos females are the type of girl who you want to be. She always looks neat, pulled together and never frazzled. Her clothing, hair and makeup always looks superb and flawless. She is usually the epitome of class, feminity, and kindness (some exceptions to this, but I will discuss that later). But what really makes a Virgo female like this? What makes her tick? Is it Virgo's natural instinct for order and neatness? Possibly, the two are very related. But the majority of Virgo females are influenced by one thing, low self esteem.

Many Virgo females are plagued with low self esteem. Virgos notice everything, especially the small or insignificant details the rest of us don't bother paying attention to. I mentioned in my last post how Virgo males are oftentimes very critical of their lovers/friends/family but most Virgo women are different because they turn that critical eye inwards. Flaws the rest of us would never notice are dissected and analyzed repeatedly by Virgo women.

Many Virgo women are very unhappy or unsatisfied with their looks.  At times their obsession with their looks also results in some Virgo females becoming extremely vain or narcissitic. Virgo women can develop delusions of self-grandeur or be judgemental of others who don't meet their lofty standards

Constantly striving for perfection, these Virgos are the women who are in their plastic surgeons office every other week. They are the type of women who can never have enough shoes, clothes or make-up no matter the expense. Without these things some Virgo females can not function. Some female Virgos can not draw the line as to what is too much. They will ignore or sacrifice their health to maintain or improve their bodies to achieve this "perfection". For example, one famous Virgo female is Heidi Montag, at 24 she has had more than 25 plastic surgery procedures performed on her.    

The quest for perfection has plagued many other Virgo females, such as Beyonce Knowles (who underwent a diet involving her drinking nothing but cayenne laced lemonade for three weeks straight) or Nicole Richie (who suffered from multiple eating disorders). In my own personal experience dealing with Virgo women I have noticed how the quest for perfection can destroy a Virgos self esteem. This characteristic of Virgo women can be disastrous to others around them as well since a Virgo female will often lash out at the very people who are trying to help her. Or worse they can also be very rude and critical of people who don't meet their standards of perfection.

More often then not, the biggest problem Virgo women face is that they can develop a hatred of themselves which can make them fall into deep deppresions about their perceived imperfections. This is a pity because otherwise Virgo females have great personalities and are very down to earth. It's important to note that not all Virgo females hate themselves or will develop body dysmorphia or eating disorders. Rather for the most part this characterisitc results in Virgo females in being self critical and unhappy with their body/looks. More often then not the average Virgo will find faults or imperfections in themselves that the rest of the world simply does not see.

So Virgos keep your head up, and learn to love yourself, flaws and all :-).

The Elephant in the room

I was sitting in the car the other day with two male friends, one a Leo (the afore mentioned) and the other a Cancer male. For some odd reason we got on the topic of dating. I mentioned that dating in DC had been a pretty awful experience for me. They proceeded to ask me why I felt that way, I explained to them that I was in a very strange position in my life. I was neither religious (frum) nor was I secular. I was not quite sure what I wanted and had not met anyone who interested me. Because I was interested in growing religiously this tended to limit my dating pool a lot. I also told them that I was far more serious than a lot of the males in my peer group,  so I couldn’t picture dating a guy in his early twenties.  I mentioned how I hope to one day move to New York for work and will hopefully have more luck there.

That led to a totally new conversation on how cutthroat New York women are. My Cancer male friend,  in true Cancerian fashion could not seem to stop himself from rubbing the salt in my wounds by telling me how much competition there is because all the girls in NY are size zero. The Leo (who is shorter than me, he is about 5’9) then proceeded to chip in by saying that because I was so tall it would be even more difficult.

Ummmm excuse me?

I’m not saying that physical beauty doesn’t matter when finding a mate but to suggest that it’s the only thing I have to bring to the table is insulting to me and degrading to other women as well.

We are judged every day on features we can’t control such as our height and body structure. I REFUSE to apologize any longer for my body. Sure it would be nice sometimes to picture myself a size zero or under 5’6 but it will never ever happen. Even at my thinnest when I basically worked out three times a day and ate only steamed vegetables I still wore a size 8. I have realized that despite everything I have been through I am happy the way I am and don’t need to make myself into something I am not.

I thought it was funny that both men, who for the most part were unattached in their mid-thirties were attempting to give me relationship and life advice. Both men were not in the best shape themselves nor were they particularly handsome. But like true Jewish melechs they felt the need to tell me that since I wasn’t a size zero or petite I would have to struggle, and most likely be lucky just to find a relationship with an ogre (or gargoyle, if I'm really lucky).

Prior to this conversation I thought at 24 I had accomplished a lot and was a good catch. I graduated Cum Laude from one of the best schools in Florida. I have a terrific job that I love and excel at. I am friendly, funny, smart, cultured and a very kind person. But to these guys none of those qualities mattered. They only saw the physical side of me and couldn’t look beyond that.

One thing I’ve learned from dating is that relationships need to extend pass the physical in order to work. Meaning you have to learn to love the person within. I am not saying this gives me the right to become a fat slob but rather that my partner needs to accept my body as beautiful no matter what society’s ideal may be. I don’t need or expect every guy to find me attractive. But to say that I am less worthy of a relationship simply because I am bigger than most women is ridiculous.

Consider this, do you really want to be with a man who will hate you and your body when you become pregnant? Or be with a man who is disgusted by your body when you gain weight? Or gets embarrassed when you wear high heels? That is not the type of boyfriend or husband I want to have.

There is only so much  your body and mind can go through to please somebody. Concentrate on pleasing yourself.  Learn something new, make friends, work hard, play hard but don’t waste a minute of your precious time turning yourself into something you are not.

Regards,

The girl who [proudly] wears a size 12  

Aries Male - The ram is "always" right

Whenever I talk to my Aries dad, whether on the phone or in person, he always loves to make definitive statements. For example, he will comment on how all politicians are corrupt, how all British people are jerks (and assholes and alcoholics, lol) and it goes on and on. To an Aries, the world is black/white, yes/no, and wrong/right. There are very few, if any Aries, both male and female, who see the world in multiple shades of grey.

Aries love to make definitive statements on how they see the world. They can feel very passionate about causes, movements and at times politics because of this. Not to say that Aries are passive followers, they are anything but. Aries are one of the natural leaders of the Zodiac and oftentimes they're the ones who are recruiting the passive followers to drink the proverbial kool-aid.

Aries is also one of the most honest signs in the zodiac. Aries usually have no problem laying out the truth for people, even if it's indelicate or others don't want to hear it, mainly because they are so blunt and aggressive. This also means Aries will speak his mind no matter what. Oftentimes an Aries will speak his mind and share his opinion even if he is wrong. Like his fellow fire signs, Leo and Sag, Aries loves to talk and share his opinions and view points on life. So regardless of whether he is actually right or not, an Aries will share his opinion whether you want to hear it or not or even if it makes no sense.

One of the most negative aspects of the Aries male is this need to always be right, no matter what. Aries will argue a point to death even if they have no evidence, proof or reasoning behind it. And because of his fiery nature, passion for the cause, and inexhaustible energy he usually wins by sheer force instead of wits or reason. And to an Aries nothing is better then winning. This sign lives for the conquest and eventual  winning something, whether that be respect/admiration of others (usually the case) or actual monetary/tangible gain. This quality makes Aries males excellent politicians, lawyers, spokesmen, salesmen, etc.

Aries oftentimes have a bullheaded quality to them. Like Taurus they can be stubborn about their views and beliefs. They have very little self awareness and oftentimes don't notice or care if what they're doing or acting like makes no sense at all. They are impatient and like I said earlier will try to win or make things happen by sheer force or will. They have boundless energy which never seems to be exhausted and they are usually optimistic about their causes and beliefs.

Aries gets in the most trouble in relationships with their need to always be right. Because Aries is always right, it will be your fault if the relationship is not working. Case in point, if there are issues with sex it will be your fault. Aries men are  very impatient lovers. Now granted they are inexhaustible, so if you like to have "energizer bunny sex" this sign is for you, because they can keep going, and going, and going...you get the point. But for those of us (ahem, water signs put your hands up) who like a little seduction and lengthy foreplay with our sex then make sure to never get involved with an Aries. This sign will leave you hanging and wanting more. Aries feel that sex should be hot, fast, and fun and they rarely view it as a deep, lengthy sensual experience. To a water sign sleeping with an Aries is like eating fast food. Sure it is satisfying at first, but it doesn't fill you up for very long, does not satisfy your craving for something substantial and it leaves you with heartburn the next day.

Aries males need to be right all the time will eventually affect the relationship and sex in a bad way.  Because they  always feel they are right it is very hard to communicate with an Aries or even give constructive criticism. Aries don't take criticism  very well, since they believe their techniques are superb and flawless, after all they saw it in a porno and aren't those always accurate? If you try to tell an Aries that what they're doing is not resulting in any pleasure for you, they will turn nasty. The last Aries I dated was like this. Now granted he was a very kind, mild mannered man in his late thirties. But even he had a streak of Aries stubbornness. When I told him that he needed to switch up his technique so I could orgasm, he said to me "but this made all my ex-girlfriends orgasm". Typical Aries response. This same thing happened to my sister whose Aries ex-boyfriend told her the same exact thing. Never mind that their previous partners had totally different bodies, sexual styles, desires, wants and needs. To an Aries male, you are the problem, not him and his superb sexual techniques.

This issue also has roots in Aries natural impatient personality. Rarely if ever will Aries take their time during sex. Because of this the foreplay between you and your Aries male will surely decrease over time and as you become more familiar with each other. Aries is the meat and potato guy of the Zodiac, he doesn't need a song and a dance to get him in the mood because he is always ready to go. No need for slow seduction, mind games, fantasies, strip dances or hot lingerie. Aries are simple, easy to understand and always hot and raring to go.

So if this sounds like your dream guy, what are you waiting for? Go find your sexiest outfit, red preferably, and find your Aries dream man. Oh and ladies, this boy is not picky, he is more into quantity then quality. Be careful when sleeping with your Aries man, because hes more then likely to have been around the block his fair share of times.  So make sure he gets tested, be cautious, don't take too long to make up your mind and don't play subtle mind games because Aries does not get them.

Oftentimes you will find that an Aries male is one that can move around from lover to lover. But when he is in love, honey you will know it. When in love, Aries is one of the most committed signs. They love deeply and since they're always right they expect you to love them the same in return.


Good luck!