Reconciling Judaism and the Zodiac

Oftentimes when I tell people I am interested in the Zodiac I am greeted with a great deal of skepticism and disbelief. In particular, this past week  I had two male friends tell me that I place too much value on "following the stars" instead of taking people at face value. It is true that I do tend to analyze people based on their sign. I try not to be too judgemental since someone's sun sign does not encompass the entirety of that person, but at times I will admit I can be somewhat judgy or even preachy of other people based on their signs.

For me an interest in Astrology is rather a new thing. I remember growing up reading magazines like Seventeen or Cosmo and peeking through the Astrology section in the back just for a quick laugh. In Psychology class when our teacher brought up Astrology as a faux science that many people were mistakenly guided by, I whole heartedly agreed. So what changed?

I am still a very practical person and always will be. However when I began to embrace my spirituality and religion, I realized that the "junk science" of Astrology actually has a very real place in Judaism. It is mentioned several times in Torah (both the oral and written version) and plays a huge role in Kabbalah, the sacred mystical teachings of Judaism.

Needless to say our forefathers did not think Astrology was a junk science. Rabbis like the Rambam, Vilna of Gaon, the Rashba, the Ravid, and many others not only believed in the power and truth of Astrology but they actually wrote about it and spread their knowledge of it to their students to be passed on generationally. It is my opinion that Judaism and Astrology are not two divergent ways of thinking, I believe the two can be reconciled and complement each other in many ways. Historically speaking the Jews have studied the stars and practiced astrology since the time of Abraham and even Adam has been linked to it.

I am not sure where or when the shift in Judaism occured that made Astrology into something that was against Torah. I am sad that most of the resistance from Astrology comes from those who base their entire lives around following a set of religious rules and principles that can't be proven scientifically. Its always been interesting to me that the more religious someone is the more likely they are to reject the teachings of the Zodiac. They usually view it as a sham or as new-age mysticism. Yet the same people who don't believe in the Zodiac, govern their entire lives on the literal interpretation of a book that is thousands of years old. A book that outlines how they worship, eat, treat others, even how they can have sex. A book that actually mentions Astrology and the importance of it, both negative and positive aspects.

To be fair the Torah does speak out against the practice of Astrology in terms of reading the future. This is because as Jews our futures are not controlled by the stars. We are in essence free to choose our paths in life. Meaning that just because I was born on a certain date does not mean I will reach wealth, love or anything else, as Jews we make our own destiny. How do we do this? By bringing ourselves closer to g-d we are able to control our fate and destiny. How do we do this? Well by following the torah and completing mitzvot. By doing good things not only will we become better people inside but we will be rewarded in our next lives.

So what about those Jewish people that are awful and horrible? Judaism contends that those who are doing teshuvah or repenting stand very high in g-ds favor. So even if you have spent your life doing awful and horrible things if you come to g-d and do teshuvah you can change your fate.It is like my favorite lecturer Lori Palatnik said, the Jewish year is not a circle rather it is a spiral. Meaning that sometimes we go up but other times we go down. The point is to keep trying to go up and reach your true potential. By doing this you will be closer to g-d and in essence you yourself will be a more g-dly, spiritual, and better human being.

 When g-d gave us the torah we made a pact with him, that we would be different then any other nation. This means that our destinies are not guided by the stars like other nations but rather that we are guided by g-d only whose influence far outwieghs the heavenly bodies.

So how does the Zodiac fit in to all of this? Well to me the Zodiac tells me about the needs, desires, likes and dislikes of people. It paints a quick sketch of them in your mind so that you are prepared and alter your reaction to them. Now this may seem as an unfair statement. Afterall it is not fair to judge others and as I was reminded this week what can result is a confirmation bias. Meaning that if you're looking for something you will find it in some form, thus confirming your suspicions. To this I counter that I take into account the person first before I am even aware of their Zodiac sign. Afterall I am not going up to random people on the street and asking their birthdays it is only with people that I know well who I ask. Even then I excercise caution as to prevent judging someone too harshly for something they can not control or for something that may not play a huge role in their life. As I mentioned in my first entry Astrology is fairly new to me and I am still learning about it all the time. I also realize that there is much more to Astrology then sun signs and there is much more to a person then their Astrological sign. However, there is a lot  more to Astrology then  a casual observer would see and the more I learn about it from reading books on Kabbalah or listening to various lecturers the more fascinated I become with it.

I think that for many the study of the Zodiac can be a scary thing. Afterall if g-d gave us free will, then why or how can the planets or spiritual bodies affect us? Right now I am still learning about it but with this entry I have tried to share what I have learned thus far. More on this later.....and hopefully a new blog on Sagitarius.

Happy Chanukkah!!

Scorpio: Busting the myth of the sex fiend

One of the things that really pisses me off about modern astrology is that the negative qualities of some signs are often interpreted in positive ways. There is no better example to me then the case of Scorpio. Chances are, any magazine or book you pick up about modern astrology will describe Scorpios as being obsessed with sex.  You would think your average Scorpio spends the majority of their day alternating between prostituting themselves and being a sex fiend. However nothing could be further from the truth. I'm here to bust a very common belief, Scorpios are not sex g-ds. If anything, most Scorpios are prudish often to the point of celibacy.

First let me say this, Scorpios are extremely picky about their lovers. They have very little interest in sleeping around with multiple people and their emotions run way too deep for casual lovers. Not only are they generally not interested in casual sex but for the most part Scorpios are not particularly exciting or innovative in bed. They are rarely into experimenting and trying new positions and they are pretty conservative and bland in their sexual preferences. Sure, some Scorpios may have their kinks but for the most part this sign is much, much tamer then most people suspect.


Also on a personal note, most Scorpio men that I have met often come across as extremely effeminate and very awkward with women. They by no means have a "fatal allure" or sexual nature that most people claim is natural for Scorpio men. If anything for the most part when I meet Scorpio men I almost always peg them as a gentle Pisces or a Sag. As for Scorpio women, they give off such an intense vibe that it can be confusing to decide whether they are sexual in nature or something darker. Keep in mind that since Scorpio is a feminine sign, female Scorpios are usually much more intense then male Scorpios.

So where does all the fuss about them being obsessed with sex come from?  In my personal opinion this misconception arises out of Scorpios absolute obsession with their partners. Most Scorpios are very intense and focused people. This is great trait to have in the work world, but not such a good one for building a relationship. Once they feel they can trust you and if they fall in love with you, they will want to control you. Point blank, Scorpios want to own you, mind, body and soul. They are not content with merely dating you in a casual manner like an Air sign would. Rather Scorpios want your world to revolve around them. Scorpios are extremely loyal and expect similar loyalty from you, whether it be in a friendship or relationship. And don't even think of cheating or otherwise betraying this sign. They are completely ruthless when they feel they have been wounded or hurt. They are extremely jealous and very senesitive people. Even a  bit of light flirtation with a member of the opposite sex will upset them to the point were they feel betrayed and used.

Scorpios can be very intense and passionate in bed which is likely were the concept of them being obsessed with sex comes from. And once they feel they can trust you they will open up and be very passionate with you. They are usually generous lovers, although as I mentioned before they are not as experimental as other signs. They are not usually very selfish in bed, and once they trust you they will be very forthright about their sexual wants and desires. They will resist trying things that are outside their comfort zone or that they feel are morally wrong.

Scorpios have major issues with trust as well. They are usually pretty cold and quiet with outsiders and rarely if ever reveal their true feelings or intentions. Male Scorpios I have found are much more open and extroverted then their female counterparts. But for the most part Scorpio rarely opens up to outsiders or strangers (more on female Scorpios and trust in another post).

Another common misconception about Scorpios is that in bed they can be very dark. Meaning turned on by fetishes, bondage, BSDM, etc. Again this is definitely not the case. For Scorpios that do enjoy darker or more rougher sex (a rarity) their desires lie in mind control over anything tangible or visually stimulating (chains, whips, latex, etc).  For the most part this sign has major trust issues so its very rare to find a Scorpio that would enjoy being tied up, confined or humiliated in any way. This sign has a lot of pride and there is nothing more humiliating to them then losing control in the bedroom. Not to say they don't enjoy mastering others in the bedroom, but like I mentioned earlier, often a Scorpio's ethical  and controlled nature will not allow them to hurt others, especially those they truly love.

Against common belief, Scorpios have a definite sense of right and wrong and are often ruled by their morality.  Now mind you, a Scorpios morality is not neccesarily guided by society's mores and dictates but rather whatever they personally feel is right or wrong. This means that although a Scorpio may have respect for government and its processes but they have no qualms about breaking or bending laws/rules they don't believe in.

So hopefully this shed some light on a common misconception. Scorpios, feel free to comment and prove me wrong :-). I'm still looking for my tall, dark and handsome Scorpio man ....lol.

Guest Post: Reflections

This post is an essay written by little sister. Thought it was very well done and wanted to share it. Enjoy!

The phone rings and I hear my father’s deep voice answer “ Hola?”, immediately a smile grows on his face and he begins speaking Hebrew then back to English and then Spanish. As I help my mom make dinner, yucca con mojo (a root vegetable with garlic sauce popular in Latin America) with a side of hummus and tahini. As a child I thought there was nothing unique or different about my upbringing. I thought everyone’s family spoke in a mixture of languages and all Jews ate borekas and sanchocho soup with matzoh balls. Having been raised in a highly ethnically diverse area such as Miami I never thought twice about the concept of a Latin or Sephardic Jew (meaning Jews from Spain) being strange or unusual.

 I grew up attending temple in a Cuban Jewish community where I regularly heard prayers in Hebrew and in Spanish and then ate borekas (puff pastries cooked by Jews of Turkish descent). My grandparents owned stores in Latin neighborhoods and they were raised and still had family in Colombia and Cuba. My father was an Argentinean Jew whose ancestry included Poland and Russia making him an Ashkenazi Jew. The dichotomy of my father’s light features with my mom’s dark features made for a colorful mixed appearance amongst my siblings and I. Being that both my parents spoke Spanish and had been raised in South America, Spanish was my first language. I also attended Hebrew school in a Latin Jewish synagogue and eventually learned English as I entered grade school. Soon I was mainly speaking English both in and out of the house and my Hebrew lessons eventually stopped. But my father still felt the need to keep Jewish traditions alive. My house was kept kosher, temple was attended on important holidays, and Friday was reserved for festive large Shabbat dinners for friends and family where my family and I would crowd in front of the flickering flames of two candles and recite the prayers by memory.

I remember the bitterness of the wine followed by the dry and sweet challah bread, the texture of the white table cloth that covered the large oak table in the dining room. My father would recite the prayers in Hebrew and my siblings and I would parrot them as best as we could, my small fingers tracing the strangely curved letters with the random dots that could only be read from right to left. But then as times changed and my parents began working more, visits to temple were lessened. Friday night dinners which had once been reserved for festive large Shabbat dinners were now abandoned and we were lucky if the Shabbat candles were even lit, as the lights now mostly came from the television sets. I was now attending school with more American children, specifically with many American Jews. I remember the stiffness and staidness of their Shabbat dinners, where both the conversations and the food was bland. I missed the colorful and loud family get-togethers with three languages being spoken at one table and the warmness of the Latin and Mediterranean cultures swirled together. Even the way the Ashkenazi’s read their prayers and the food they ate was boring to me.  

I remember my friend’s disbelief or disapproval of Sephardic or Latin Jews. I remember one commenting “those aren’t real Jews”.  Or worse “You don’t look Jewish?”.  I was always puzzled at this statement because in both my family and lifetime I have seen Jews from all over the world, with dark chocolate eyes to light grey, strong noses and button noses, curly hair and pin straight hair, black and white, tall and petite. I didn’t think that Jews had any certain “look”, I thought that they just looked like whatever region they were from , Ashkenazi’s looked like any other eastern European , and Sephardic Jews looked like any other person from the Mediterranean. The ignorance and perpetuation of stereotypes reinforced by most of the population even within the Jewish community always bothered me.

As I grew older I had lost many of my childhood traditions. I hadn’t gone to temple in years; I still kept Kosher to some degree but mainly as a result of me being a vegetarian, and had forgotten all but several prayers. Perhaps it is no coincidence that during this time I was undergoing many emotionally difficult times. I was in middle school and my parents, now divorced, were constantly working. I often had to make dinner for my brothers and always felt too busy to light the candles or follow any other traditions. I also began to question my beliefs and faith in the world around me.  My first boyfriend was raised in a very religious Orthodox home, and when I asked to meet his family he resisted, basically suggesting that I wasn’t “Jewish enough”. 

I then dated a Catholic boy whose religious hang-ups I could not understand.  His house was covered in crucifixes and pictures of a bloody Jesus on the cross.  These images were very graphic and different to me coming from my own household where mezuzas (small scrolls of the torah, attached to doorways) and deep blue glass eyes were hung to protect from the evil eye. His family would ask me questions about Judaism and even though we had similar origins (his family and my grandma were both from Colombia) I felt a strong disconnect from him culturally. I felt annoyed when he would forget important holidays especially since I took the time to celebrate his holidays with him, and the small cultural subtleties were always lost.

It was around this time that I had reclaimed many of my childhood traditions.I made it a point to practice Shabbat and kiss the mezuza as I entered and exited a room, I prayed and explored more of my religion. My sister was also undergoing a religious transformation. She had just returned from living in Israel and came back spiritually replenished and forever changed. She began to spend most of her time in the campus temple at her college, began eating kosher and became friendly with the rabbi and his family. When she would visit my house she would implore that my siblings and I also become more religious and spiritually involved. She lent us books on Jewish Spiritualism and mysticism, and introduced me to lectures given by rabbis that spoke about modern issues. She began to travel more and meet other Jews from all over the world and when she spoke about Israel she seemed to glow. “You don’t understand Steph, I feel at home there. Everyone understands you” she would tell me. She would beg me to get more involved in the Jewish community and thought that it would help me deal with my mixed up emotions.

 My most recent ex-boyfriend was raised mainly Christian, his father was Jewish but was raised in a mostly Christian/Catholic neighborhood in rural Pennsylvania. His mother was Catholic, and in the Jewish religion the child takes the faith of the mother. While his father’s side was technically Jewish, they had spent multiple generations in this Christian community and had completely assimilated into the culture and practices of that region. He ate pork and other non kosher foods, had never been to temple, had no cultural or biblical knowledge of the Jewish religion and had never dated a Jewish girl. In the eyes of the Jewish community he was not a Jew, not by birth nor in practice. Yet he would claim that he was Jewish even when I would explain to him that in the Jewish religion, he was not. He had no respect for the laws of kashrut or Jewish holidays and his ignorance about the culture began to wear on me. When I went to his hometown to meet his families I was greeted with a plate of pork sliders, I quickly passed and began to look for something that I could actually eat. I was then approached by a family member who began to ask me questions about myself, where I had met my then boyfriend, and where I was from. When I mentioned that I was a Latin Jew, an exaggerated contorted look grew on his face and he bluntly replied “I didn’t know they made those” then rudely laughed. “Well I guess I’m a special edition from the factory” I replied curtly before ending the conversation.  I didn’t even have the energy to explain to him that Judaism is a religion with cultural practices but that pockets of Jews live in countries around the world, that we didn’t magically pop up and live on “Jew-island”. I wanted to tell him that Jews exist in multiple parts of the world, and that not every Jew resembles the stereotypical Woody Allen character.

More recently I was able to experience the beauty of my cultural heritage during the wedding of my cousin. Him being a Colombian/ Cuban Jew, he had met and fallen in love with a Cuban-Turkish Jew with a lovely large family and they decided to get married. At the wedding Spanish music played and we danced the Hora. All of the Abuelas (grandmothers) were dressed to the nines and kisses were  freely exchanged. It felt so good to be in a room full of people just like me, were I was not considered an oddity or a freak. It was that night that reinforced my desire to marry someone from the same culture as myself. Today I continue to practice and delve more into my religion on a spiritual level. I don’t consider myself to be very religious, but I do try to apply the spiritual and common practices of Judaism to my everyday life. I hope to marry someone who understands my disdain of pork products and my love of Carlos Vives, someone who’s Abuela makes delicious borekas , and lastly someone who loves me. They will be my besheret ( soulmate in Hebrew) and what better place to meet him, then in Miami?

Gemini Male: Heartbreaker you got the best of me

Gemini males. Where should I begin? There is a lot to be said about Gemini males, some good but mostly bad (especially if you're not an Air sign). Geminis are unlike any other male sign in the Zodiac, although Aquarian males may have some similarities, nothing comes close to a Gemini male.

First of all let me just say that Gemini men are extremely charming. When you first meet one, chances are you will be extremely impressed by his wit, suave personality and his ability to keep up a conversation without any awkward lulls or silences. Geminis know how to treat a lady (in the beginning at least), they will do everything but lay out a red carpet for you to walk on. They are extremely romantic in the beginning of a relationship and will charm the pants off not only you but your family, friends, co-workers, pets, etc.

But not all good things can last. So is the case with Gemini men. Geminis in general are not a relationship type of sign. This is not to say that they don't enjoy dating, because Gems love meeting (or sleeping) with lots of different types of people. What gets Gems is boredom. Once this sign gets to know you and you start wanting a ring is the minute you realize he has his bag packed or is out the front door.

Ladies ( and some gentlemen) trust me when I say this, be careful with Geminis. This is a sign that is extremely changeable and untrustworthy. They only adore the chase, but not the relationship that comes afterwards. Once they meet a woman they are interested in they will pursue her until she falls for them, and once that happens they are done.They really do well with only Air signs. When they're with other signs they tend to feel constricted and chained down. 

When a Gemini does get into a relationship this changeability can be a good thing. Gemini men are extremely creative and changeable in bed. They enjoy toys and props in bed and love spicing things up in bed. They like to try crazy positions, sex toys and role playing. The kinkier the better with this sign. They are turned on by the visual as well as the auditory.  Gems are definitely not quiet lovers. As I mentioned in my last post, this sign loves to talk. And in bed they're no different. This sign for the most part prefers to dominate in bed, they are not scared or too timid to instruct you in what they want and many will not hesitate to give orders. They know what they like and what they want to see. They get extremely turned on by dirty talk and verbalizing your fantasies. They enjoy things like role playing different scenarios with you, and are also very turned on by the idea of a menage a trois (usually with another female).

Yet despite the tendency to dominate in the bedroom, Geminis are also extremely sensual and very much into pleasing women. This may come as a surprise to many since this sign is not known in Astrology as being overtly sexual or as a good lover. Most people consider the "twins" to be light, flirtatious, and somewhat prudish. But from what I have heard and experienced they usually make sure that their woman leaves satisfied. Some women with Gemini lovers have described it to me as Gemini putting on a performance for them. Gemini men want their lovers to be satisfied in bed, however, the rest of the relationship is a different story.

So here's the tragic part of the romance with a Gemini. You may think everything is going well and things are finally starting to get serious. When all of a sudden he's no longer answering your phone calls, returning your emails, and your bank account is drained. What happened you may wonder? Turns out you probably fell in love with one side of his personality, but when that "other" side of their personality comes out its like your romance was make believe. You no longer mean anything to them. Its like your relationship or romance never existed. It's the fatal allure of the Gemini.

Once a Gemini disappears good luck trying to find him. Its almost like an evil twin has abducted him because they turn into a different person over night. Geminis are also the type of man that will disappear just when you are starting to fall in love with him. I am afraid I can't give my readers an answer as to why this is. But most Geminis need excitement, spontaneity and newness in a relationship or else they will  leave. Once again this is why Gems need an Air sign. Who else will keep a Gemini entertained? Aquariuses are so kinky and strange which turns Gems on. Libras chattering and easy going personality makes Gems feel comfortable and unconfined. Leos are possibly one of the only signs besides Air that meshes well with Gemini. This is because Leos enjoy performing in bed and Gems love to be a participant. Not to mention Leos are very easy to please, just keep the charm coming.

Those with Gemini men know how hard it must be to keep your man interested. A word of advice, don't hesitate to spice things up and change things around every once in a while. Gems love spontaneity so don't hesitate to let your inner vixen out to play. Fair warning, this sign is not the most loyal nor the most faithful. If its ever lasting love you are looking for, search else where, because Geminis are not for you.

As always, good luck :-)

Gemini: Walking the walk and talking the talk

Have you ever met someone who loves to talk? Really talk, I mean talk until they're blue in the face and will keep going even if all suitable topics have been exhausted? Most likely you have just met a Gemini. This post will explore the talkative aspect of Gemini females and how it impacts their interactions with other signs on a romantic and personal level.

The twins

I have to preface this by saying as a Water sign I don't get along with Air signs in general. I see them as shallow, unrealistic, and non trustworthy. The love is not loss, because Air signs see Water signs as being too overly emotional, constricting, secretive,  and unnecessarily complex. I can almost guarantee that any union be it friendship or romance between an Air and Water sign will not work out for these reasons. Yes there are exceptions to every rule but trust me on this one, Air signs are meant to be with only other Air signs. That is who they will always be happiest with because other Air signs understand Gemini's need for freedom, superficiality and a busy social life.

Gemini's are truly the communicators of the Zodiac. Even a "shy" Gemini and you will come across those every once in a while will open up eventually. Now although Geminis are quite the talker you will notice that in these interactions that a Gemini seems somewhat removed. The eyes aren't quite lighting up to match the tone of voice, the smile isn't really that warm, and at times what a Gemini will ask or say can come across as shallow or even calculating. Out of all the Air signs, Geminis are the most grounded in reality, yet they still are very much like Libra and Aquarius (the other two Air signs). This means that they are somewhat removed from reality and  devoid of feeling human emotion. Now I know what some readers may be thinking at this point, "well I know several Geminis and they're not like this at all". Just remember there are two sides to every Gemini. The side you may have encountered at that moment may present itself as caring and loving but the other side may not be.

The dark and good side of Gemini

Geminis are a sign that is personified by dual personalities. Although many Geminis can be warm and loving, there will always be another side to them, more often then not that side of them is not one you want to mess with. Gemini females especially tend to exhibit their dual personalities, although they do so in an entirely different way then Gemini men. Gemini women are  known for their charm which seduces many a passerbyer. Even though they are not as charming as Gemini men can be (more on this in a later post) Gemini women can still charm the pants off anyone ( I mean this literally). Most Gemini women are warmer then Gemini men. They can talk to almost anyone and  they will make that person feel like they are their center of attention. A true Gemini is the type of person that can make friends wherever they go. But Geminis have a hard time maintaining long lasting or deep friendships and relationships with people because after a while Gemini will get bored.

The Gemini bible

Gems love to keep around many diverse groups of friends. Fair warning the minute you become boring to a Gemini or attempt to cage them in they will leave. Gems have to be entertained all the time, and they have to have an outlet in which they can talk and meet others. Geminis need to have people they can talk to at all times. Trust me when I say that a Gemini could probably hold a conversation with an inanimate object and still be content.

So my readers may be wondering at this point, so what? Big deal they like to communicate, we get it. Geminis love affair with talking is hardly new. But consider this Gemini's love of talking will impact any relationship a Gemini has. Unlike most signs Geminis aren't so interested in looks or money, although those things do matter to some Gems. What they care about is personality. If a Gemini meets someone who can make them laugh and entertain them they will stick around. However, Geminis will eventually get bored. This holds true for both male and female Geminis. And they will most likely cheat.

Not happening any time soon

This is not a loyal sign by any means. And unlike most signs they are turned on by things like charm and flirting, whereas other practical signs would see through it. To a Gemini often it is words that turn them on in the bedroom more so then physicality. Although most male Geminis are quite experimental in the bedroom for the most part the female Gemini can be quite removed emotionally and not interested in sensual lovemaking. She likes sex but she prefers the thrill of the chase more then the American dream home with a white picket fence and husband waiting for her. Like all Air signs she is thrilled with being spontaneous and adventurous. To her nothing is better then spending the night flirting surrounded by many admirers and friends.

So if this social butterfly sounds like your cup of tea then good luck. I would say based on my experience don't expect a long term relationship from a Gemini. And on a more personal note don't expect them to be honest and real with you. This sign is known for being untruthful, untrustworthy and shallow. The best matches are other Air signs and Leo ( who lets face it goes with any sign as long as they're willing to stroke Leo's ego)

My issues with female and male Geminis is this, why the shallowness? Every single Gemini I have ever met is shallow in one way or another. I'm not referring to a superficial shallowness, although a lot of Geminis are very superficial. But rather Gemini's are not deep. They are extremely flighty and  don't want to be encumbered by things like feelings or emotions. In fact to a Gemini, feelings just get in the way of things, most Geminis are ruled by the pursuit of fun times. They are not looking for people who are too emotional or clingy.

Just my two cents...feel free to share your opinion on Geminis..another post soon to come on Gemini males and lying

Aries Female: Impulse Control

 I have to admit I am very biased when it comes to writing about Aries females. Namely because I have never come across an Aries female I did not like. They are brave, bold, funny, drama free, ambitious, spontaneous, driven, loving, and passionate.  All of the things I have spent my entire life trying to be, Aries females do naturally on their own.

Unlike male Aries, Aries females are much more grounded, warm hearted and sensitive. Although they still embody the Aries “can do” spirit they do so in a very tone downed way. Aries women are the most “real” sign of the Zodiac. They are honest, blunt and most of them are ridiculously funny as a result. They have a lot of masculine energy flowing through them which makes them risk takers, aggressive go getters, and at times somewhat egotistical. But there is something Aries females just like Aries men have a problem with and that is their impulsive natures.

Awww its a baby Ram :-)

Aries is a sign ruled by their impulses. Because they are the first sign of the Zodiac, they are considered the “baby” of the Astrological world. When a baby wants something, be it food or a diaper change, how do they go about getting your attention? A baby will scream and cry until they get your attention because they are ruled solely by their impulses. All a baby thinks about is their pleasure and needs.  They do not take your feelings into account as they are screaming and crying.  And just like babies, Aries will also be passionate and scream when they want your attention even if it hurts your feelings.

As I mentioned in my last post, Aries is not a patient sign. They can certainly try to learn patience but it is not a skill that comes naturally. One Aries male described it thusly, “I am the most impatient person who feigns patience that there is”. Nothing pains an Aries more then to wait for things. Which is why when an Aries is offered something or sees something they like they will go after it with almost no thought of the consequences. Aries has a lot of energy and they need to direct their energy into some type of endeavor. They are definitely not content just watching life pass them by. 

Aries can also be very persistent, because they are ruled by impulse they will often push boundaries to go after what they want. Always remember that Aries least favorite word is no. Telling an Aries no at any point of a relationship or friendship is futile because Aries will always go after what they want regardless of your opinion. The trick with Aries is sugarcoating your resistance in such a way that they believe it was their idea in the first place. Aries is a sign that likes to win any argument no matter how small so never say no to this sign. 

Sometimes this impulsive nature is a good thing. While other signs like Taurus and Cancer will deliberate a course of action and often miss out on an opportunity, Aries will just go after what they want with no questions asked. This impulsive nature means that Aries is much more likely to do something without considering the ramifications of the behavior. Aries don't understand the concept of consequences and many have trouble dealing with moderation. They are often more liable to suffer from the consequences due to their wrong choices.

No suprise that they call it a battering ram

Many Aries women I know of have made a lot of bad choices in life because of this impulsive nature. Be it in jobs, relationships or even trivial matters like shopping. This is not to say that an Aries, be they male or female, don’t think or rationalize about a choice. But rationalization and patience are skills that must be learned over time by an Aries.  They do not come naturally and especially in stressful situations Aries will usually react without thinking.

This type of behavior can be self destructive in many ways. I have some Aries friends who have impulsive shopping, eating, drinking and drug habits. Unlike many thrifty signs (Cancer/Taurus/Virgo) Aries will buy things they like without thinking of the consequences. They are not the best savers because they will often buy things recklessly without deliberating whether they really need it or not. 

This type of reckless or irrational behavior can often lead to promiscuity. Aries females just like Aries men want to be in committed and long lasting relationships. However many of them have no problem sleeping around before a relationship. Like I mentioned in my last post, when Aries sees something that they want , they go out and get it. While other signs like Taurus or Capricorn are deliberating about your future potential, Aries has already propositioned you to come back to their home. This is very big problem for female Aries who may start a relationship with someone who is completely inappropriate for them simply because they did not think before entering into a relationship. Or it could lead to them being hurt by others who may not have the same feelings for them. 


Their impulsive nature and masculine energy means that many Aries females have no problem adapting a "love em, and leave em" approach to life. They can flit from man to man with almost no problem or guilt but their true goal in life is finding their soul mate. Yes, under all that masculine energy Aries truly wants to find a life  partner that they  respect and love. Aries women also make great moms, especially with little boys since they're not afraid to get down and dirty.

Aries women will struggle with their impulsive nature but many I know have managed over the years to tame it and learn patience. However they must still be careful of it being activated during stressful situations. The loss of control or rational thinking that an Aries experiences can be very harmful to those around them. When an Aries loses their tempers all hell will break loose. Aries has no problem cursing someone out or starting a fight with someone when they’re upset. Even if that person is someone they love and respect, Aries don’t rationalize when they’re upset and are unable to take a step back and consider that persons feelings. When upset, Aries has no filter. They will say the stupidest, rudest, inappropriate things and then will act like what they did was no big deal.

Its important that Aries women and men learn to deal with this impulsive nature and funnel their energy into other endeavors. Remember Aries, patience is a virtue.

Frum in the City: Bashert

This post is an old post I wrote last year on the Jewish concept of soul mates (bashert). It is not related to the Zodiac, but regardless, I hope you enjoy it!

You know that old pick up line, the one where the guy says to the girl,  do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Well I actually had that happen to me, love at first sight that is, not the pick up line :-).

I was thinking of the concept of love at first sight tonight. What is love at first sight and what does it mean to have experienced it and then to have lost it. Sometimes, I think that a part of me is missing. I always feel silly for saying this because I know its not a very healthy outlook on life.

 In almost every article and book I read on love, the modern feminist point of view that is espoused is  to concentrate on your own needs and wants. Hooking up, casual dating are enshrined, while the realities of marriage are rarely mentioned. It almost seems like I'm not supposed to care about finding a husband or g-d forbid even consider starting a family. What has emerged instead in most women's magazine is an ethos of  leading your life based on the principles of Ayn Rand, meaning living life solely for yourself. This has never sat well with me and I know I will never be truly happy living life for my own selfish gain.

Although I am happy being here in DC working and being a "grown up" a part of me is very alone and looking for love. Sure I've dated, and met many wonderful guys, some of whom I have had chemistry with. But there is no better moment than that moment when your soul finds its other half. And I felt it from the moment I stared at him, I knew something was different. We exchanged names and the air felt electrified between us, time literally stood still. I just forgot who I was, where I was and let my heart open. Since that moment I have realized that it is not always easy to fall in love again like that.


It takes sacrifice and selflessness. I think that vulnerable romantic part of me died when things didn't work out between us both....because I've never met anyone who has even come close to giving me those feelings again. And in almost every relationship I've been in afterwards it seems that I just can't return the love, sentimentality and affection of others.

So it got me thinking to the concept of Bashert. The concept  isn't just neccesarily a soul mate, bashert means fate. It means the g-d has placed a person (or multiple people in some cases) on earth for you to find. Your "bashert" is the soul chosen to accompany your soul on life's journey. He is not only your future spouse but your other half.

I'm sure you've all heard of the concept of Adam and Eve, how Eve was made from a rib of Adams body? Meaning they were joined at a point and then g-d made them into two seperate beings. But they were always connected spiritually by that event . A smiliar concept exists in Judaism, as we all long for our other half.

I talked this over with my best friend who is very learned and educated in Jewish law. She brought up a good point, which is, that in life we can have multiple Basherts.

We can have basherts or soulmates for different stages in our life. We all go through different stages in life and sometimes we fall in love with people that are appropriate for that stage. I met him when I was 19, still in college, naive and a hopeless romantic.

Now I'm 23, independent, focused on my career and living in a new city. Times have changed, and I don't think that the person I thought was my bashert could have kept up the pace with my life.

And yet sometimes when I'm lonely I'll still think of him and wonder the "what ifs". So I guess that despite everything you will never forget your first love.....